Images: Lily in Idaho Falls
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
My quest with this series is to look back over my life and remember all the songs that would have been my favorite at any point along the way. It's a tall order, and I'll probably fall short, but we'll listen to some good tunes in the attempt.
This is a current favorite, from Fiona Apple's first album, Tidal. I picked up the CD at Value Village, and whenever I put it on, I can't help but listen to this one on repeat. Fiona, you always bring out the drama in me. And that's a good thing.
This is a current favorite, from Fiona Apple's first album, Tidal. I picked up the CD at Value Village, and whenever I put it on, I can't help but listen to this one on repeat. Fiona, you always bring out the drama in me. And that's a good thing.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
How 'bout that hand of mine, eh? That is one strange angle
Anyhoo, this is my left hand, featuring three rings that I wear often.
Ring Finger: Wedding Ring
Craig gave me this ring when we got engaged in May of 2008, and I have loved it nonstop. My wedding ring is something I contemplated for a lot of years (roughly since the age of seven), and my mind changed somewhat in terms of how I wanted it to look. Small Sara loved all things Native American, so naturally, I wanted a turquoise wedding ring. I eventually moved on to wanting a diamond, thought it HAD. TO. HADTO. be a princess-cut solitaire stone on a thin, white-gold band. At some point in high school, I became enamored with the idea of having a sapphire wedding ring instead, and that's where my preference remained. As Craig and I planned our wedding and our future together, we talked about how both of our wedding rings would look, and Craig used those conversations to design my ring. Having a sapphire has definitely been a hot topic through the years, with plenty of strangers ooh'ing and ahh'ing over what an original thinker my husband must be to have come up with a ring like that. Yeah, he did good.
Middle Finger: Austin TX Ring
I picked up this ring at the Buffalo Exchange in Austin, Texas. It's sterling silver with little turquoise beads (pretty sure they're just synthetic beads and not the real thing).
Index Finger: Feather Ring
This ring also came by way of Buffalo Exchange, though this one was in my home store in Seattle. It features an oval turquoise stone, a little red coral, and a silver feather detail. This is one I'll definitely have forever (unless I pass it down to some lucky daughter, granddaughter, or niece).
Monday, July 23, 2012
I don't know if I'll ever be shipped off to a desert island, and if I am, I don't know that my captors will be so generous as to provide five movies of my choice.
But if it ever happens, I'm ready with this list.
1. "You've Got Mail"
I love this movie for sentimental reasons, for bouquets of sharpened pencils and caviar garnishes. For Meg Ryan's floppy hair and the Zabar's cash-only line. Nora Ephron, who directed and co-wrote "You've Got Mail," recently passed away, and in tribute, many bloggers I follow have written little posts to share their love for this film and others that Ephron wrote ("When Harry Met Sally," "Sleepless in Seattle," for example). Their words made me extra homesick for Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly and friends, and I have been (unsuccessfully) looking for the DVD at thrift stores ever since. The search continues.
2. "The Land Before Time"
In the wise words of Little Foot's mother, "Some things, you see with your eyes. Others, you see with your heart." Cue music, and cue Sara crying. I've watched "The Land Before Time" since before I could walk or talk, and it is an everlasting metaphor for life that I've turned to repeatedly. Between Diana Ross singing "If We Hold On Together" and the motley crew of young dinosaurs finally arriving in The Great Valley, awash with sunlight and green food and their adoring families ... ahh, I'm a goner. This movie teaches me things every time I watch it, and usually, it's the same lessons over and over.
3. "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
This is the kind of movie that's just mainstream enough to be cliche, but also artsy and offbeat enough to be respected. It features Jim Carrey as mild-mannered Joel and Kate Winslet as manic-pixie-dream-girl Clementine (although, as she says brilliantly in the movie, she's not a concept; she's just a [messed]-up girl looking for her own peace of mind). They are lovers, and also strangers, and also bitter exes who intentionally erase all memories of their past involvement. This movie makes me question the whole idea of regrets, of wishing I'd never met a person, and reminds me that love is messy sometimes. It also really makes me want to go to Montauk.
4. "Hot Rod"
This one's just for fun. Nothing cheers me up and gets me sillier than watching Andy Samberg in the awkward teenage character of stunt-boy Rod Kimble. He has a hormone disorder. He has a dad who's super-dead. He has a crush on the girl next door (and the girl next door has a douchey boyfriend). Favorite moment:
This movie is in the category of STUPID BUT FUNNY. As in, "This scene/character/line/idea is stupid ... but is it also funny?" And there's no accounting for exactly why I'm on board, why this movie delights me so, but there you have it. I want to take it with me so I can laugh on the desert island, and also so I can memorize every line and quote it top-to-bottom (life goal).
5. "Like Crazy"
My number five spot was a wild card and a tough decision, because when it comes to desert island movies, you're not just picking movies you happen to like a lot; you have to consider what role these movies will be playing in your long-term, lonely existence on this island. I wanted to include movies that inspired different essential emotions within me, and "Like Crazy" ... well, it brings on the romantic-sads. And sometimes, the romantic-sads are good to have.
As a concept, "Like Crazy" is a really interesting film because it was made from a fifty-page outline (written by the director) that the actors then used to improvise actual scenes and dialogue. It feels realer than real, probably because these lines were coming from the gut rather than the page. I both hated and loved seeing the two lead characters fall for one another, then deal with the unbearable distance between California and London, then be together, then be apart, then be together, then be apart, then figure out what the years of separation have done to them. I'm really glad this movie only came out last year and didn't exist at any point when I was going through a breakup, because it's entirely possible I would have watched it repeatedly, stayed in my bedroom, and eventually died in a puddle of romantic-sads. This movie is a very tough one to get over.
(If you want to see the trailers for these movies, go here. I've made a handy little list.)
But if it ever happens, I'm ready with this list.
1. "You've Got Mail"
I love this movie for sentimental reasons, for bouquets of sharpened pencils and caviar garnishes. For Meg Ryan's floppy hair and the Zabar's cash-only line. Nora Ephron, who directed and co-wrote "You've Got Mail," recently passed away, and in tribute, many bloggers I follow have written little posts to share their love for this film and others that Ephron wrote ("When Harry Met Sally," "Sleepless in Seattle," for example). Their words made me extra homesick for Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly and friends, and I have been (unsuccessfully) looking for the DVD at thrift stores ever since. The search continues.
2. "The Land Before Time"
In the wise words of Little Foot's mother, "Some things, you see with your eyes. Others, you see with your heart." Cue music, and cue Sara crying. I've watched "The Land Before Time" since before I could walk or talk, and it is an everlasting metaphor for life that I've turned to repeatedly. Between Diana Ross singing "If We Hold On Together" and the motley crew of young dinosaurs finally arriving in The Great Valley, awash with sunlight and green food and their adoring families ... ahh, I'm a goner. This movie teaches me things every time I watch it, and usually, it's the same lessons over and over.
3. "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
This is the kind of movie that's just mainstream enough to be cliche, but also artsy and offbeat enough to be respected. It features Jim Carrey as mild-mannered Joel and Kate Winslet as manic-pixie-dream-girl Clementine (although, as she says brilliantly in the movie, she's not a concept; she's just a [messed]-up girl looking for her own peace of mind). They are lovers, and also strangers, and also bitter exes who intentionally erase all memories of their past involvement. This movie makes me question the whole idea of regrets, of wishing I'd never met a person, and reminds me that love is messy sometimes. It also really makes me want to go to Montauk.
4. "Hot Rod"
This one's just for fun. Nothing cheers me up and gets me sillier than watching Andy Samberg in the awkward teenage character of stunt-boy Rod Kimble. He has a hormone disorder. He has a dad who's super-dead. He has a crush on the girl next door (and the girl next door has a douchey boyfriend). Favorite moment:
This movie is in the category of STUPID BUT FUNNY. As in, "This scene/character/line/idea is stupid ... but is it also funny?" And there's no accounting for exactly why I'm on board, why this movie delights me so, but there you have it. I want to take it with me so I can laugh on the desert island, and also so I can memorize every line and quote it top-to-bottom (life goal).
5. "Like Crazy"
My number five spot was a wild card and a tough decision, because when it comes to desert island movies, you're not just picking movies you happen to like a lot; you have to consider what role these movies will be playing in your long-term, lonely existence on this island. I wanted to include movies that inspired different essential emotions within me, and "Like Crazy" ... well, it brings on the romantic-sads. And sometimes, the romantic-sads are good to have.
As a concept, "Like Crazy" is a really interesting film because it was made from a fifty-page outline (written by the director) that the actors then used to improvise actual scenes and dialogue. It feels realer than real, probably because these lines were coming from the gut rather than the page. I both hated and loved seeing the two lead characters fall for one another, then deal with the unbearable distance between California and London, then be together, then be apart, then be together, then be apart, then figure out what the years of separation have done to them. I'm really glad this movie only came out last year and didn't exist at any point when I was going through a breakup, because it's entirely possible I would have watched it repeatedly, stayed in my bedroom, and eventually died in a puddle of romantic-sads. This movie is a very tough one to get over.
(If you want to see the trailers for these movies, go here. I've made a handy little list.)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
All I've ever tried to do is honor what is familiar in me.*
Mothers' Day is one of the many days each year when I reflect on something special, this one thing in particular that is familiar in me. It's something I learned when I was a child and started caring about in a new dimension as a 22-year-old lady.
I'll cut the mystery on this something special: I believe that I am a child of Heavenly Parents, that my spiritual genealogy is simple and magnificent and common to every other person this planet has met. I believe that I have a Heavenly Father. I believe that I have a Heavenly Mother. I have spoken with and thought about my Heavenly Father every day that I can remember in my entire life. The relationship I have with my Heavenly Mother has been so small in comparison (and it is always in comparison), so short in its span, and that smallness truly breaks my heart. But I am trying to make Her every bit as central in my life as He is.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to do that -- make those relationships equal in some fashion -- because I became devoted to my Heavenly Father as a twelve-year-old kid with braces and such a water-clear sense of the world, and now I'm twenty-five, and the way my grown-up self connects with divinity is by necessity different from the way my child self did. I suppose that's all right. Maybe Heavenly Father is the childhood sweetheart that I'll know forever and ever, and maybe Heavenly Mother is the deep and challenging partner of my mature years. Maybe those loves have equal weight, even if they take different shapes.
So this belief in my heavenly beginnings, my Heavenly Parents, is something so dear and familiar in me. It's such a Mormon part of me. I'm comforted to find that I still cry at this facet of my testimony. It still makes me emotional. For all the ways I've deconstructed and reconstructed and analyzed and compartmentalized and reprioritized my religious knowledge, the thought of my Heavenly Parents is real to me and worthy of tears. This is still how I form my understanding of divinity. I honor them as a set. I love them individually.
And on this Mothers' Day, I'm thinking of my own mom. The one who brushed and curled and braided my hair. The one who sends me texts with funny emoticons. The one I've seen crumpled in sadness and laughing in the sunshine.
I wonder if my Heavenly Mother is like this. I wonder if She tended to my needs and my nitpicky desires while I was still in spiritual infancy (or am I still in that infancy?). I wonder if She sends me messages in Her own way. I wonder at Her experience of the terrible grandness this universe holds. I wonder how She manages to feel so much.
And on this Mothers' Day, I'm thinking of the mom I want to be. A mom who judges rightly when to cuddle her toddler and when to let that same child explore with minimal supervision. A mom who tells her teenage kids about the first time she fell in love. A mom who tends scrapes and slivers with a tender hand.
I wonder how this will train me for my next progression. I wonder if I will know the godly skill of holding on and letting go. I wonder what wisdom I will most want to transmit. I wonder if I will be able to heal the ones I love in a manner most befitting their independence.
I wonder about Her and I believe in Her. I honor Her as someone familiar in Me.
*I can't claim credit for that sentence, one that I find totally brilliant. It's just something I heard a few years ago in a podcast interview with Ashley Sanders. [PS I love her and I love that interview. I'll try to expand on why in my next post.] But anyway, even if I didn't make it up, those words are true and they just stir something in me.
Mothers' Day is one of the many days each year when I reflect on something special, this one thing in particular that is familiar in me. It's something I learned when I was a child and started caring about in a new dimension as a 22-year-old lady.
I'll cut the mystery on this something special: I believe that I am a child of Heavenly Parents, that my spiritual genealogy is simple and magnificent and common to every other person this planet has met. I believe that I have a Heavenly Father. I believe that I have a Heavenly Mother. I have spoken with and thought about my Heavenly Father every day that I can remember in my entire life. The relationship I have with my Heavenly Mother has been so small in comparison (and it is always in comparison), so short in its span, and that smallness truly breaks my heart. But I am trying to make Her every bit as central in my life as He is.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to do that -- make those relationships equal in some fashion -- because I became devoted to my Heavenly Father as a twelve-year-old kid with braces and such a water-clear sense of the world, and now I'm twenty-five, and the way my grown-up self connects with divinity is by necessity different from the way my child self did. I suppose that's all right. Maybe Heavenly Father is the childhood sweetheart that I'll know forever and ever, and maybe Heavenly Mother is the deep and challenging partner of my mature years. Maybe those loves have equal weight, even if they take different shapes.
So this belief in my heavenly beginnings, my Heavenly Parents, is something so dear and familiar in me. It's such a Mormon part of me. I'm comforted to find that I still cry at this facet of my testimony. It still makes me emotional. For all the ways I've deconstructed and reconstructed and analyzed and compartmentalized and reprioritized my religious knowledge, the thought of my Heavenly Parents is real to me and worthy of tears. This is still how I form my understanding of divinity. I honor them as a set. I love them individually.
And on this Mothers' Day, I'm thinking of my own mom. The one who brushed and curled and braided my hair. The one who sends me texts with funny emoticons. The one I've seen crumpled in sadness and laughing in the sunshine.
I wonder if my Heavenly Mother is like this. I wonder if She tended to my needs and my nitpicky desires while I was still in spiritual infancy (or am I still in that infancy?). I wonder if She sends me messages in Her own way. I wonder at Her experience of the terrible grandness this universe holds. I wonder how She manages to feel so much.
And on this Mothers' Day, I'm thinking of the mom I want to be. A mom who judges rightly when to cuddle her toddler and when to let that same child explore with minimal supervision. A mom who tells her teenage kids about the first time she fell in love. A mom who tends scrapes and slivers with a tender hand.
I wonder how this will train me for my next progression. I wonder if I will know the godly skill of holding on and letting go. I wonder what wisdom I will most want to transmit. I wonder if I will be able to heal the ones I love in a manner most befitting their independence.
I wonder about Her and I believe in Her. I honor Her as someone familiar in Me.
*I can't claim credit for that sentence, one that I find totally brilliant. It's just something I heard a few years ago in a podcast interview with Ashley Sanders. [PS I love her and I love that interview. I'll try to expand on why in my next post.] But anyway, even if I didn't make it up, those words are true and they just stir something in me.
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